I’m Alive

Howdy, strangers! It’s been awhile since my last post, but I’ve been relatively busy. I’ve been putting the finishing touches on an album that’s been in the works for some time now. Hopefully soon it will see the light of day – or at least the pallid glow of the Internets.

My leisure time has been spent watching a lot of the New World/Roger Corman Blu-Rays released by Shout! Factory, which are amazing. I’ve also been listening to a ton of Neil Young, especially the “Ditch Trilogy.” I may or may not write more about these things in the near future.

Oh yeah, and I got married. Woo hoo! Cecy and I will return with Episode 8 of our ground-breaking podcast once we are done staring lovingly into each others’ eyes.

I promise to delve back into deep blogging soon (eew, that sounds gross). In the meanwhilst, check out this interview with Amanda By Night of Made For TV Mayhem. She won the prestigious “Versatile Blogger Award,” and in turn listed a few blogs that she loves. I’m honored to report that Blanked As Ordered made the cut!

It’s always nice when someone acknowledges and appreciates your writing, especially when you do it as a hobby/obsession/unpaid internship. I should probably follow this up with links to some of MY favorite blogs, but I’m too damn lazy. So check the links on the right hand column of the home page, and follow my Twitter feed – I try to repost whenever I find a really fantastic blog entry, although you may have to wade through lots of bad jokes and passive aggressive political activism.

I’ll be back with more enthusiastic ruminations on pop culture before you know it (or want it, or want to know that you want it).

In Fear of Fear

See what I did there? I brought back the song title thing. You don’t care? FINE!

In light of the recent announcement that The Exorcist will be hitting Blu-Ray later this year, I started thinking about a discussion I had with a friend of mine awhile ago.

He was saying how he didn’t like the film because he saw it as being Christian propaganda. As an atheist, he found the film to be offensive, since it seemed to imply that the characters were being “punished” for their lack of faith.

While I don’t completely disagree with this interpretation, I always regarded it as a work of fiction about characters struggling with their own faith, not as propaganda. Obviously writer William Peter Blatty was himself a priest, so he was drawing on his own personal experiences to some degree. But that’s what any good writer does. And by tapping into his own fears, he created one of the scariest concepts in fiction, which in turn became one of the greatest horror films of all time.

Haters Gonna Hate

I haven’t said much about television in awhile, but don’t worry: it’s not all slashers and campers over here. I’ve also been keeping up with one or two shows. The current shows I follow, for various reasons, include: Doctor Who (I like the new Doctor, stories are average to forgettable), True Blood (this is mainly the fault of the wife-to-be, but there are some genuine laughs in between all the wincing), Justified (wasn’t too impressed at first, but it built to a great season finale), Boondocks (awesome), and Treme.

Help the Aged

I posted this on the other thing, but it deserves it’s own blog entry. The ignorance of the right wing has reached another new low, as they prepare to violently defend the rights of…corporate medical insurance companies?

The “mandatory euthanasia” rumor is an interesting one, as it basically is designed to prey on the elderly. As disgusting as this may be, I was reminded of this classic SNL commercial parody. It’s a matter of time before we see ads like this one, stating that “Obama wants to feed old people to robots!”

I can’t get the thing to embed so click the link please

Stop Your Crying

Big fine could be big trouble in downloading case

I no longer have any sympathy for the RIAA. I don’t give a shit how much money Destiny’s Child’s lawyers supposedly lose from Kazaa. Stop harassing people for filesharing. No one said shit when we were making cassette mixtapes in the 80s and 90s, but now it’s a big deal because of the Internet. Looks to me like the last gasp on an industry that hasn’t figured out how to adapt to changing technology.

And to musicians who complain about filesharing: If you’ve been paid royalties for your music, consider yourself very fortunate. I’ve never been paid royalties for my music, and I can still record, perform, and write songs. If you need money, get a day job like the rest of us and shut the fuck up.

The only people I feel some sympathy for in the entertainment industry is filmmakers, because I realize how expensive it is to make films. But the audacity some of these guys have to assume that consumers will buy their films sight unseen…it boggles the brain! I was renting and dubbing video tapes as soon as I could walk to the fucking store. If the industry was going to crash, it would have happened long before the internet was invented.

This doesn’t mean I am without conscience when it comes to downloading. I try to give back to the industry when I can. But that’s because I can afford to buy a DVD or record every now and then. When I was broke, I rarely paid for anything except concert tickets and VHS rentals, and I don’t remember hearing any bands complaining about slumping record sales due to cassette dubbing back then (roughly 1985 to 2005). The film industry did not appear to be in crisis. Strange how things suddenly change…

New Year

It has been two months since my last post, which in the “blogosphere” means I have effectively shot this thing like a sick dog and put it out of its misery.

Or so it would seem.

Perhaps I have been quietly simmering, brewing up a shitstorm of insightful reviews and essays which are simply too controversial and brilliant to unleash upon the world until it has caught up with my genius.

Were it only so…

No, in fact I have fuck all to say at the moment. Certain items in the real world have cropped up to prevent me from continuing my slightly acclaimed series of gripping essays on vigilante movies and over the hill shoegaze bands. 2008 ended amid much economic and political turmoil, as you probably know. I landed on both feet, fully employed – at least for the moment. (Although it’s safe to say I would be updating the blog more frequently had I been laid off.)

Riots break out on Wall Street

I was overjoyed that Obama won the election, but now a malaise has set in as I watch him scramble to fix a broken machine, while those responsible for fucking it up whine about having to bail out the same people they gave bad loans to in the first place. Now, the nation quakes in fear as millions of privileged white Americans threaten to throw down their briefcases and riot in the streets.

The new digs

My legendary girlfriend and I celebrated the new year and the failing economy the only logical way: by signing a lease on a much nicer, much more expensive apartment. Hey, if we’re gonna go down on this sinking ship, I want to go down in style. I want to be able to watch Los Angeles crumble as I sip brandy on my balcony on a hill overlooking the toiling masses.

Despite our preoccupation with packing, moving, working, yelling, and crying, we have still found time for our first love: getting drunk and watching movies. Several British and Spanish horror films have been viewed, as well as numerous episodes of British comedy shows (IT Crowd, Garth Merenghi’s Darkplace, Little Britain, Mighty Boosh – we even rented Spaced for chrissakes). My brain is such a jumble of pop culture references and surreal set pieces that I’m mentally typing with a dubbed British accent at this very moment.

Music-wise, I’ve been ping-ponging back and forth between trendy new stuff (Santogold, TV on the Radio), old stuff (Thin Lizzy), and British goth/glam fusion (The Cure circa 82-86, the stuff Pulp did before they broke in 1993). I’m also disgusted to report that thanks to a few of my “friends” and Rock Band 2, I have started to like the music of No Doubt. Shoot me now.

And just so I can justify clicking on the little check box next to “Comics” on the categories tab, I should mention that I received an awesome Christmas package from my beloved featuring the first two volumes of Creepy magazine reprints. The horror!

So despite not having any new updates for Blanked is Ordered (that is what this blog is called), I have done some writing. I reviewed three nasty, vile movies for From Below, a website apparently devoted to nasty, vile movies (and rightly so). Granted, two of the three were written last year, but I was too ashamed to post a link before now (the ones accredited to “Ryan O” are mine).

Also, my close friend and colleague Mr. Weyls has lept into the fray with his own blog entitled Bad Actor. It is a series of biting observations about daily Chicago life mixed with brutal pop culture eviscerations. Read if you dare!

I’m off to either break down due to the pressure and stress associated with moving into a new apartment in an uncertain economy, or clean the kitchen and make breakfast. Expect more posts in the not so distant future.

Good Guys Don’t Wear White

The Star Chamber (1983)

Peter Hyams (Outland, 2010, Capricorn One) directed this film, which takes a more “psychological” slant on the vigilante issue. Michael Douglas plays a judge who is tired of seeing criminals walk based on technicalities. His friend Hal Holbrook eventually recruits him to join a clandestine panel of judges who rule on cases outside of the court of law. When a person is rendered “guilty,” a hitman is contacted and the sentence is carried out in a swift and brutal manner.

When a couple of thugs implicated in a child porn ring go free, Douglas is pushed too far and joins the star chamber. After placing a hit on the two men, it is revealed that they had nothing to do with the crime. However, the men are obviously not upstanding citizens, so Douglas has to decide whether the cost of killing possibly innocent men outweighs the value of being able to take out the truly guilty.

Thus, the basic problem of vigilante justice is revealed. The Star Chamber has a great set up, goading the audience into sympathizing with the judges and their frustration over the shortcomings of the system. It then tries to twist the story around to show how taking the law into one’s own hands can go wrong. By avoiding a black and white approach, it remains somewhat realistic and thought provoking.

Unfortunately, things become rushed toward the end, and the film veers off the cliff into ill conceived action movie territory. It’s hard to imagine anyone being satisfied with the ending, and almost seems as if studio execs had stepped in at the last minute and changed the direction of the film.

The Star Chamber is worth watching for any fan of vigilante films or 70s and 80s crime movies in general. The cinematography retains a decent amount of grit, and the cast does what they can with the material. Holbrook is excellent, Douglas is average, Yaphet Kotto is great as usual (but pretty much wasted on a minor part), and Don Calfa (Return of the Living Dead) and Joe Regalbuto (Murphy Brown) are likeably over the top as the “innocent” criminals. James Sikking also turns in a great character role as the father of a young murder victim. There is also a humorous scene-chewing performance by John DiSanti (I think) as Kotto’s partner.

This film was obviously designed to provoke debate, and it probably succeeded in that. However, its flaws were apparent and it tanked at the box office. There is a remake in the works, and depending on who is involved, it might actually fare better than the original. But I’m not getting my hopes up; it will probably be another Hollywood special effects wank job by the time it gets released.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I’ll begin my vigilante film reviews with a couple titles that differ slightly from the conventional, Bronson-style shoot ’em up. Don’t worry, I will get around to examining the Death Wish films at some point. Especially the one with the grenade launcher.

Fighting Back (1982)

Directed by Lewis Teague, the man who brought us Alligator and Cujo, Fighting Back is an obscure yet interesting entry in the 80s vigilante movement.

Tom Skerritt plays John D’Angelo, a family man who owns a deli in an old Italian neighborhood in Philadelphia. When a chance run in with a local pimp results in his wife (Patti LuPone) having a miscarriage, D’Angelo quickly discovers that the law is of little help. Even his best friend Vince (Michael Sarrazin), a local cop, admits to being “chicken shit” when confronted by all the lowlifes hanging around in the park. When a couple robbers make off with his mom’s ring finger, D’Angelo is finally pushed too far. Rather than embarking on a bloody one-man killing spree, he instead forms a neighborhood watch council to patrol the neighborhood.

The patrols often involve unprovoked attacks on local watering holes, which rile up the criminals. Meanwhile, local politicians grow concerned about D’Angelo’s increasing stature as a local hero. Eventually things come to a head, and D’Angelo is forced to choose between his family, his nefarious vigilante activities, and a potential career in politics.

Fighting Back is a flawed film, but it has its moments. More of a drama than an action flick, it is similar in tone to the first Death Wish film, but otherwise is distinguishable by its emphasis on political and social machinations. I’m normally a fan of Tom Skerrit, but here I found his Philly accent to be a bit forced. The fact that D’Angelo refuses to leave town to protect his family out of pride, and the way he barks orders at everyone makes him come across as less than sympathetic at times. Still, if Skerritt’s aim was to depict a flawed character under pressure, he did a good job.

The supporting cast is also good, including Yahpet Kotto (who famously co-starred with Skerritt in Alien) in a bizarre turn as a community activist/modern dance instructor (!) who rebuffs D’Angelos requests for help because he feels the other man is a “fucking racist.” It’s good that Teague decided to show this viewpoint, as the subject of racism is valid when dealing with films about angry white men killing criminals who often end up being poor and black- but the character is never developed, and seems like a mere cameo to lend the picture some street cred.

Fighting Back has never been released on DVD, and it’s difficult to track down on VHS. I was lucky enough to find a download on the Internets, but this is one title that deserves to be released into the digital age, warts and all.

There Goes My Gun

My efforts to keep from writing about movies on this blog have failed. Here is part one of my award-winning thesis on Vigilante Cinema of the 1970s and 1980s. (Actually, I just wrote this a few minutes ago, but you get the point.)

For some reason, I love watching vigilante films. They serve a purpose in allowing the viewer to vicariously work through their own fears and prejudices, without having to actually resort to violence. At the core, we all have the ability to kill in self defense, or to protect or avenge our families. Anyone can be pushed too far.

The vigilante films of the 70s and 80s are anything but politically correct, and this is part of their charm. Some attempt to examine the faults of the justice system, others wallow in reactionary extremism. If the viewer is able to take it all with a grain of salt, and laugh at some of the outlandish paranoia displayed in these films, there is a lot of entertainment to be gleaned – and perhaps even some insight into the human condition.

Revenge has long been a theme in movies, and it’s probably the single most common character motivation in the action genre. In the 1970s, a new breed of film emerged that depicted lone civilians fighting back against criminals. This may have started as early as the late 60s, when the Billy Jack character first appeared in The Born Losers. But with Death Wish in 1974, the vigilante film took on a modern, urban edge. Charles Bronson‘s depiction of Paul Kersey, a mild mannered architect who is driven to shun his pacifist beliefs after his family is viciously attacked in New York City, struck a chord with many moviegoers. On one level, it could be interpreted as a manifesto for conservatives who felt like the justice system was becoming too soft on crime. But many people, regardless of political leanings, could simply relate to Bronson’s portrayal of a man forced to act out of pain and rage. Death Wish was a double edged sword: it reflected and condemned the increasing crime and violence in America, but also seemed to glorify cold blooded revenge.

Ironically, the author of the book Death Wish, Brian Garfield, had intended it to be a warning against vigilantism. He was upset by what he felt was a positive reaction by the audience to the violence in the film.

But the die had been cast. Between Death Wish and Clint Eastwood‘s rogue cop Dirty Harry, American audiences had been primed for a new breed of hero. And things were only going to get nastier.

Stay tuned for some white hot vigilante film reviews in my next entry!

Change of the Guard

I’ve been kind of focused on the election crap these past couple weeks, like most people. I’m hesitant to go into much political discussion here because there is enough of it out there, and I’m hardly qualified to be a political analyst (or an opinionated shockmeister as many of them are).

But I do think it’s interesting that Obama is leading in the polls, and that this is inspiring an increasingly desperate and angry din from the right wing folk. I’m not talking about fiscal conservatives or middle of the roaders, but the really scary citizens who actually think Obama is either a:

a.) Muslim

b.) Terrorist

c.) Baby-killer

d.) Person who wants to take away all my money

e.) Person of Color

OK, we know he is half black…but I think the other accusations above are on the silly side.

We’ve all heard disturbing reports about GOP crowds shouting “kill him” or “get him” or whatever it is. You can argue about whether or not this poses an actual security threat, but the point is that having a black president scares the crap out of a lot of people. This fear is easily converted to anger, and most aren’t afraid to show it. I won’t go into all the sordid details – you all presumably have access to the Internets (but the small child at the McCain/Palin rally holding the Curious George doll comes to mind).

Still, while white racists try to outdo themselves by sinking to new lows in public, Obama keeps ascending in the polls. This does not necessarily mean he’s going to win the election, but it is most certainly a gauge of current public opinion. I came to the realization last week that even if Obama should lose the election (or the republicans pull some kind of Black Ops trickery at the polls like they have been known to do in the past), this antiquated mode of thinking – that America belongs to white people and diversity only weakens us as a nation – is on its way out. The times are changing, and these pink faces shouting “kill him!” are the last of a dying breed. We are witnessing the death throes of American racism, the extreme right wing, or whatever you want to call it. It may not happen with this election, but the fact that someone like Obama (not just a man of mixed race, but a relatively young, intelligent and level headed person) could get this far is nothing short of revolutionary considering this country’s often embarrassingly violent past.

Which brings us to Steely Dan. I won’t pretend that I know what these guys were thinking when they wrote “Change of the Guard,” which appears on their debut LP Can’t Buy a Thrill from 1972. But listening to the song today, it sounds like they could be describing the current political climate. Thus, I leave you with the words of Donald Fagen:

“All the cowboys and your neighbors
Can you swallow up your pride
Take your guns off if you’re willin’
And you know we’re on your side
If you wanna get thru the years
It’s high time you played your card
If you live in this world
You’re feelin’ the change of the guard”

(Video from Krolblach)

There is, of course, a more sinister interpretation of this song, suggesting that it describes some sort of fascist agenda – but let’s assume it does not. For once, I am bored with cynicism.