Archive for March, 2009

Green is the Colour

Posted in Television with tags , , on March 31, 2009 by roarvis

I grew up with sort of a snobbish disdain for television, which didn’t quite stop me from watching it, but perhaps made me less obsessive than I might have become. It also enabled me to stock up on my book-readin’, which is a good thing because I hardly read anything that’s not linked from a Facebook update these days, and it’s good to have more than a couple words at your disposal when writing a blog.

Since investing in a high definition 16×9 television a couple years ago, I got over my holier-than-thou ways and logged some serious hours in front of the boob tube. My justification was that there was a lot of intelligent programming on TV now (sort of true) and I could watch it commercial free thanks to DVDs and digital downloads (true).

One of the results of this new found attraction to television was that I discovered the oeuvre of Joss Whedon, the guy who created Buffy and Angel. His work has its supporters and its detractors; personally I can take or leave Buffy, I absolutely loved Firefly, and I enjoyed about 80% of Angel. Without a doubt, the three best characters on Angel were Doyle (who only lasted one season before actor Glenn Quinn met with a tragic death), Lorne (played by Andy Hallett), and Charisma Carpenter‘s ass (as Cordelia).


So I was deeply saddened to learn (yes, via Facebook update) that Andy Hallett passed away on Sunday after battling heart disease for the past few years. His character gave the show much of its heart, sophistication, and humor, and I always got the impression that Whedon had based the character on Andy himself. So, if I may nerd out for a moment here: Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan, you will be missed.

You Little Shits

Posted in Film, Rants with tags , on March 20, 2009 by roarvis

I’m so glad there’s a new Fast and Furious movie. That’s just what Hollywood needs to do right now: release another high gloss, widely promoted mainstream film that glamorizes street racing. There aren’t enough douchebags driving around in expensive cars as it is, swerving in and out of traffic and causing accidents and deaths on a daily basis in and around Los Angeles County.

I realize that I sound like a crotchety old man here, and I’m sure you can picture me puttering around in my 96 Honda Civic like a scared granny on the road. Let me just clarify that like any other red blooded male, I enjoy driving fast. The difference between me and say, an 18 year old with a brand new tricked out Mustang street racing at night, or a corporate type with a BMW going 90 through rush hour traffic, is this: I DO NOT WANT TO DIE. I also do not want to kill someone (at least not by accident, on the freeway). These are the basic qualities that separate me from a TOTAL FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. And let me tell you, there are plenty of those in this city already.

Actual Douchebags

Actual Douchebags

So please, Hollywood, I beg you: make as many torture porn flicks as you want. Make as many silly drug comedies as you want. But please, lay off the drag racing fetish material. The type of person these films appeal to is very suggestible. It is the type of person who actually pays attention to car commercials. It is the type of person who speeds up when the rest of the traffic is slowing down. It is the type of person who swerves in and out of traffic so they can beat other cars to the next stop light. Don’t give them any more encouragement!

Also, if you are one of the aforementioned douchebags: maybe you can try making all the other traffic on the road disappear using the weight of your collective egos. Then you can zip around like little pixies without endangering any human lives except your own. Until you achieve this feat, please be aware that I am trying to remain calm, but will probably eventually go Bronson on your ass. (And I’m talking Death Wish 3 armor piercing bullets Bronson, not Mr. Majestyk melon farmer Bronson.)